Best Bites: New Canaan

Paul Sullivan can eat an entire pizza. On its own, that’s enough to get into my personal hall of fame – but as it turns out, Paul has accomplished much, much more. A journalist for decades – he had his own business column, “Wealth Matters” for The New York Times. He’s also an accomplished author and has an exciting new endeavor, “The Company Of Dads.” More on that later.

Me. Paul you wrote over 600 installments of your column for The New York Times. As a writer, and as a Paul, any advice for writing your own column ?

Paul: Plan ahead. Never procrastinate.

Me. This was actually due yesterday. Tell me about your column.

Paul: It was the “Wealth Matters” column – the strategies and habits of the wealthiest people in America. What they were doing right, what they were sometimes doing wrong, and what could be learned from both.

Me: What did you discover about money that might be useful to New Canaanites?

Paul: In general, people are too reticent to talk to their children about money, and it almost always causes problems, ranging from misunderstandings to really detrimental stuff about what money can do. No parent in New Canaan would skip the “sex talk” with their kids, and you can’t skip the “money talk” either. It’s parental malpractice.

Me: What’s “the talk,” what am I telling them?

Paul. Talk with your kids about how much things cost – teach them basic personal finance. For years in town one of the toy stores sold a Barbie for exactly ten dollars. It was a perfect opportunity to teach kids the value of money, how much things cost in units of ten; what it meant to save and spend.

Me: My daughter is eight. The other day we were waiting for the school bus, and she told me she wants a Range Rover. What should I do?

Paul: Talk to her about how much things cost. In my column I once

interviewed a really successful investor – and he talked about the time he bought a new car. He sat his daughter down and talked about how much it really cost. Not just the price of the car, but the maintenance, the gas, the taxes.

Me: I hear you, but she specifically mentioned wanting an SE – she said the Discovery was too small. Am I doomed?

Paul: Look; kids are comparative by nature. They know when they go on playdates whose house is bigger or smaller. That becomes an amazing opportunity. As parents we freak out. We think our kids are going to feel this way or that, but use it as a teaching moment.

Me: What am I teaching them there?

Paul: That life is about choices, and your choices are valid as long as they are in line with what you want to achieve. If they want to be an elementary school teacher, that’s fine – or a hedge fund manager that’s fine, too. Those are two choices and opportunities that pay different amounts of money.

Me: One of your books is called “Clutch.” What does it mean to be clutch?

Paul: To be clutch is the ability to do under pressure what you do under normal circumstances. People who say they do better under pressure – it’s not true. Derek Jeter. If you look at the numbers, he wasn’t better in October. He was consistent. He operated the same under extreme pressure as he did the rest of the year. That’s clutch. Then you have someone like Alex Rodriguez. His performance fell off when the pressure was at its highest.

Me: What are some of the characteristics of being clutch?

Paul: Focus, discipline, adaptability, being present.

Me: Can I teach those things to my first grader? He’s only 4 feet tall, but his Y-ball victories bring me great joy.

Paul: Great basketball players don’t just practice one hundred free throws. They practice those free throws in the same context as a game – when they are gassed. The best athletes simulate the actual moment in their practice.

Me: So I need to simulate the Y-ball – get lots of other 1st graders over to my house to foul him repeatedly while he tries to make a layup?

Paul: Look; failure is part of getting

I always get the Crispy Baby Artichokes with the aioli, the Crunchy Cauliflower, and the Crispy Calamari. There is not one bland dish in that entire restaurant.

good. I interviewed Tiger Woods for “Clutch” and he said, “I’ve failed more than anyone. I was failing in big moments when I was 8, 10. It’s part of the road to success.”

Me: What are you working on these days?

Paul: I created “The Company Of Dads.” It’s a community and forum, online and in person, for Lead Dads.

Me: What’s a Lead Dad?

Paul: The guys who have taken the lead at home. It used to be that the train station in New Canaan was full of men going off to work with all the wives staying at home, but times have changed. The pandemic altered a lot of how we all live and work. The Company of Dads is a

place for guys to come together.

Me: Paul – your brain is large – but our time is short. What are you eating in New Canaan right now?

Paul: I love Locali. I’m a flavor guy.

Me: If I could just interrupt here – I’m also a flavor guy.

Paul. Well then you must love Locali. I always get the Crispy Baby Artichokes with the aioli, the Crunchy Cauliflower, and the Crispy Calamari. There is not one bland dish in that entire restaurant.

Me: Sounds like a very loud meal.

Paul: My absolute favorite there is the 3AM Pizza. It’s pepperoni, Calabrian chili, smoked mozzarella, and garlic. It’s got a little heat.

Me: Hypothetical. You’ve finished your entire pizza. Your daughter next to you has half her pizza left, but she’s done. Do you finish that pizza?

Paul: Of course – you have to.

Me: You’re a Lead Dad – and a smart one. See you at Locali.

Paul Reitano is television producer who lives in town with his patient
wife and exasperated children. He’s created and produced multiple TV series including Alaskan Bush People for the Discovery Channel — which ran for 14 seasons. These days he’s making fancy sandwiches for his kids lunches and bemoaning why people only watch TikTok.