Too much of anything is the
beginning of a mess.
-Dorothy Draper
By Emily Umbdenstock
Rarely at a loss for words, I found myself sitting at my computer this week with an unusual case of writer’s block. Most weeks I’m on fire, and my fingers literally can’t type fast enough to keep up with the ideas swirling about in my head. But, alas, not this time. I found myself uninspired as it has been a relatively uneventful few days chez Umbdenstock. Now please don’t get me wrong, I am NOT complaining…after all, no news is good news as the saying goes. Nevertheless, as I was brainstorming for today’s column, my thoughts were scattered, and the longer I remained directionless, the more stressed out I began to feel. So, what do I do when my anxiety elevates…well, I declutter of course. And Voila, a column was born!
There is a quote I love by Katrina Mayer in which she states, “Get rid of clutter and you may just find that it was blocking the door you’ve been looking for.” And, wow, neighbors, do these words resonate with me! In fact, ever since I can remember, I have found the practice of cleaning, organizing and decluttering to be extremely therapeutic. They say that outer order contributes to inner calm, and, in my case, no words ring truer. In times of angst, I find that if I clear the clutter, I make space for me…I can breathe a little bit easier and focus a little bit more. And suddenly, life doesn’t seem so overwhelming…in my case, a clear space really does reflect a centered mind.
Now, while I’d like to think that this coping mechanism is totally harmless, some members of my family might disagree. Because, you see, I “spring clean” without mercy…nothing is safe…anything and everything in my home is subject to being relegated to the trash bin or the donation pile. Over the years I have developed quite an efficient system, patiently waiting until my husband leaves for the office and my children are at school before I get to work. Now, I’m no Marie Kondo, but if you give me a few hours, I can truly make magic happen.
The room of my choosing is usually random. A few weeks ago, I targeted the kitchen and after a thorough organizing, I can honestly say that I’ve never felt better. Does our family really need 3 ice cream scoopers? No, my friends, we do not. Have I ever actually used my All-Clad pasta pot (a registry gift from my bridal shower almost twenty years ago)? That’s a hard no… I simply break the dry spaghetti in half and throw it in my regular pot like most people. The cheap plastic pumpkin scrapers that never really get the job done come Halloween? Peace out!
This week, I honed in on the playroom; no question a far more daunting task than any other area in my house. Well, it took me two hours, and I may or may not have broken a sweat, but wow, do I feel better. Board games with missing pieces? Bye-bye. Barbie shoes with no matching mate? See ya! Unopened puzzles from birthdays passed? Off to the thrift shop! It’s truly amazing to see how many things my children accumulate that they never use…it’s sad really. Once my job was finally done, and the American girl dolls were lined up neatly in a row, I picked up my laptop, and, this time, the words poured out of me effortlessly…and all was right in the world again.
Now, sometimes, the method to my madness can backfire as I have come to learn the hard way. Like the time I got rid of my mother-in-law’s gardening books from the 80s that Tyler was holding onto for some odd reason, despite the fact that they had remained at the bottom of a cardboard box in our basement throughout our entire marriage. He won’t even realize they’re gone, I told myself. Well, neighbors, low and behold, he did, in fact, notice their absence. And although I initially tried to play dumb…hmmm, I have no idea what you’re talking about…I eventually came clean, and let’s just say you would have thought that I had committed a crime.
My decluttering has also made me the target of multiple false accusations over the years. Several Christmases ago, my mother gifted my oldest son with a Yankees nutcracker from her prized collection, and I legitimately have not been able to find it since…I swear on Santa himself that I have absolutely no idea where that little statue went. But to this day, I can tell that she doesn’t really believe me, and the case of the missing baseball player is still very much a sore subject between us….
What more can I say…we all have our things, and this, New Canaanites, happens to be mine…I might as well just own it proudly! A wise woman once said that, “clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions.” So, friends, if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by life, I encourage you to give my coping mechanism a try…you may just find that you don’t need more space, you just need less stuff. After all, we may not have it all together, but together we certainly have it all!
Emily Umbdenstock received her BA in from Georgetown and her MA in Health and Behavior Studies from Columbia University Teachers College. When she isn’t “momming” her three children, she works as a freelance copy editor and an essay editor for college applications. A New Jersey native, Emily relocated to New Canaan in June.
