Camp Chronicles: Hilarious Hurdles of Summer Sign-Ups

By Emily Umbdenstock

Spring is the time of year when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade.

-Charles Dickens

Well, New Canaan, spring has officially sprung with the onset of the vernal equinox, the official start date for the season in the Northern Hemisphere. Now, for most normal individuals, images of flowers blooming, greener grasses and an overall awakening of nature are probably the first things that come to mind when thinking of spring. And, neighbors, I used to be like you! However, since becoming a mother, the month of March has taken on a different meaning: the dreaded summer camp signup. I once stumbled upon the following, and rather humorous, definition of motherhood: spending money that could go towards restoring your beauty on summer camps they will never remember. Now, although these words drip with cynicism and are not totally factual, they also ring the bell of truth. Please raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by planning for summer camps in March…FYI, I have both arms up and am frantically waving over here…and I cannot possibly be alone. I mean, the proof is in the pudding…business researcher IBISWORLD reported that in 2023, the summer camp industry raked in a whopping FOUR BILLION dollars of revenue in the United States alone. Now that’s a lot of campers and someone has to be signing them up!

What’s the big deal some might say?!? Although I’m certainly not proud, just the mere thought of the increasingly competitive race to register my three children for camp incites panic-inducing anxiety and fist-clenching fear. After all, when online registration began at the highly coveted Camp Playland back in September (yes, I said September), I showed up a little late to the 8:00 pm enrollment party and, consequently, spots were completely full when I attempted to add my sessions to the cart. I had dropped the ball, and my slow trigger finger sadly placed my six-year-old at number eighteen on the waitlist…time for Plan B. That being said, I wasn’t totally unsuccessful. I did manage to get both of my boys into Session Two at Camp Dudley, the only sleepaway stretch the camp offers that also happens to work with their respective sports schedules…so at least they have been taken care of…for three and a half weeks at least.

Now, with the arrival of March, registration has finally opened for the remaining local summer camps, so it’s time to map out June-August in the Umbdenstock household…and it’s not as easy as it might sound. To save my sanity, I have essentially had to create a spreadsheet to ensure that my kids are occupied during the “lazy” days of summer, and I might dare to say that it is more sophisticated than a bill tracker. Our Excel creation has been a joint effort with my husband as it involves cross checking work schedules, determining weeks away for family vacations and awaiting the release of lacrosse tournament dates. Is this type of planning over the top? Of course, it is. But is it necessary? In this day and age, I think so! I’m sure some of you are rolling your eyes at my summer agenda, but the truth of the matter is that if my children don’t have structure in the summertime, they end up spending entirely too much time indoors on their devices. And that, my friends, is most certainly not going to happen here on beautiful, warm sunny days…not on my watch.

Our 2024 summer camp spreadsheet is still a work in progress. My daughter is enrolled in several weeks at St. Luke’s new day camp, and we’re looking into tennis and squash camp options for the boys. We’re also hoping to score a week or two of country club camp once it becomes available for new summer members. So why, some might ask, do I subject myself to this madness year after year? Well, the answer is simple. There are only 18 summers in childhood, and I want to make them count. It’s truly a gift to be able to give these annual adventures and experiences to my children, and, complain as I might about the overall ridiculousness of this ruthless process, I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, friends, if anyone has some camp suggestions, please send them my way! After all, we may not have it all together, but together we certainly have it all!

Emily Umbdenstock received her BA in from Georgetown and her MA in Health and Behavior Studies from Columbia University Teachers College. When she isn’t “momming” her three children, she works as a freelance copy editor and an essay editor for college applications. A New Jersey native, Emily relocated to New Canaan in June.

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